Couples Therapy

I specialize in a few primary couples issues – de-escalation (anger, reactivity etc), communication, and the emotional connection. I am a sex-positive therapist; meaning I believe sex and sexual desires are a healthy, normal part of a relationship and are good to talk about. I am however NOT a sex therapist (that is an area for further development).

Couples often have two major questions when they start.

How long will this take?

One of my many hats as a therapist is expectation management. If you would like to work on your issues and are looking to plan for how long it takes, I ask: How long has this been an issue? When we start to explore what is going on in the relationship we generally find that things have been headed in a direction for a long time, often years. When you have been building a certain way of interacting with your partner for years, how long would you expect it to take to learn and practice a new way of being together? That is your answer. If all you needed was advice, then YouTube and your friends and family would have solved your issues already. You seek out a professional when you need HELP, not “advice”.

How do we fix (“problem“), or How do I/we fix (my partner)?

This is a bit of a tricky question. Again, referring to expectation management – you are only able to work on yourself. No amount of therapy that you attend will change your partner. Each of you has to work on your own issues – which in turn contribute to the relationship. So if you want to work with your partner on the relationship, I an happy to  help each of you understand how you contribute to the relationship. This process is not about blame or pointing fingers. It is about taking responsibility. You must take responsibility for your actions and behaviour before you can have the power to change them and your relationship.

Book your 50 minute or 90 minute session with me